We as women have a tendency to struggle to see the good about ourselves. We can be quick to notice our own flaws and even the flaws of others, whether on the inside in our personality and who we are, or in the visible outward appearances.
We are our own worst critics. We pick at our weaknesses. See our mistakes as failures. And instead of just working to accept the “flaws” and the things that make us unique, we work even harder to change them and keep them hidden from the world.
We all know that our world is full of fake things. Fake breasts, butts, cheeks and anything else you could dream of changing. Photos of already stunningly beautiful women are retouched to smooth out wrinkles, lift breasts, add thigh gap and “fix the flaws”. Social media is full of unattainable perfection and unrealistic standards.
So the question is this, in a world full of fake how do we love ourselves in the middle of our mess?
How do we love our bodies before they are our goal weight. Our “perfect” size that is always just out of reach.
How can we look in the mirror and love what we see ? How can we examine ourselves, inside and out, and see what is good?
I honestly don’t know. I want to. I’m working on it. But I really have no idea what I am doing. All I know is what has helped me and I hope that it could help you too.
My self love journey has changed over the years and the biggest leap forward for me came when I was able to cut what is toxic from my life. Cutting out the voices that spoke negative, bitter speech into my situations, my self image and my thoughts, was a game changer. It made me recognize that I was worth more than they said, that I am stronger, smarter and braver than I had been made to believe. And ultimately it gave me the room to look at everything, examine it and throw out the lies and the poison; to allow in the beauty, truth and the love.
Now, a few years later, I am a completely different person and I couldn’t be happier, love myself more or believe in myself any more than I do now, because I got rid of the bad and held onto the better.
Once you get rid of the bad, the toxic or the negative, you’re left with more space to see what is positive. Then you can start trying to drown out the old voices with new ones that speak truth and life.
Surround yourself with positive, affirming and uplifting people. The ones that don’t run away from your mess but embrace you anyway and hold your hand as you cry. Keep close the people who call you on your crap, help you face what is hard, and then remind you of how great you really are. Learn how to actually accept compliments and praise without doubt and shame, the people close to you can probably see your greatness better than you can yourself.
After you can start hearing and believing the good about yourself, begin trying to look at yourself and truly see who you are. Not only the outside surface, but also what is deep within. Make lists of what you love about yourself and say them out loud. Speak truth about yourself, now, exactly how your body is, not how your body could be someday. If you can only think about how great you will be, you will never appreciate who/how you are right now.
Comparison breeds Discontentment.
So stop comparing yourself. Be yourself and be happy with the fact that you are different, there is no one exactly like you in the entire world. You have walked a completely different life, have different perspectives, have different dreams and fears than every other person in this entire world, so stop trying to be like anyone else. Just be you, this is the only chance you'll get.
If you haven’t heard it today,
let me just say,